Hi folks, Charlie Horse here.
I received a letter from Kelly, one of my old pasture mates from last winter. He has something he wants to share with us. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
Hi Charlie, I just couldn’t help myself! My human brought this to the barn the other night and was laughing about it. I had to see what had tickled her funny bone so when she put the page down I got it and read it. It is pretty funny and at the same time, so true! I have to admit that after 5 ½ years of training my human is starting to understand some of these things. If our equine friends would just leave this page up on the computer screen for their humans to find, it might help some of them to get the idea and have a great laugh!
When you are tense, let me teach you that there are dragons in the forest, and we need to leave NOW.
When you are short tempered, let me teach you how to slog around the pasture for an hour before you can catch me.
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in the 40 acres I am hiding.
When you are quick to react let me teach you that herbivore's kick MUCH faster than omnivores.
When you are angry, let me teach you how well I can stand on my hind feet, because I don't FEEL like cantering on my right lead today, that's why.
When you are worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness, GI complaint, and skin disease.
When you feel superior, let me teach you that, mostly, you are the maid service.
When you are self-absorbed let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. I TOLD you about those dragons in the forest.
When you are arrogant, let me teach you what 1200lbs of a YAHOO-let's-go horse can do when suitably inspired.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also, breakfast and dinner.
When you are tired, don't forget the 600lbs of grain that needs to be unloaded.
When you are feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "Veterinary Services, additional".
When you need to learn, hang around, bud. I'll learn ya.
Thanks so much, Kelly, for that bit of humor. With all the mud, rain and cold temperatures at this time of year we need something like this to warm the heart!
Now, here is another one that I found that I think is great. Humans call it being “addicted” but I say it just means that equines are very good at “eye contact”. I have heard more than once, that humans can’t resist our “deep liquid eyes” look that we are so good at!
Addicted to horses? You're not alone.
Good Afternoon. I AM a horse-aholic. I would like to welcome you to this month's meeting of Horse-aholic Anonymous. Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and don't really need any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a horse-aholic and it is even harder to bring yourself to an HA meeting for help.
HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of the following, you have come to the right place:
1. Can you say "sheath" in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a big truck with a towing package when everyone else drives a real car?
3. Do you have more than one vehicle? One for you and one for the horses?
4. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, clinics and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
5. If you do go overseas, is it to a riding vacation in Ireland or to Spruce Meadows to watch the Grand Prix?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly scraped boots?
8. Is your interior decorator the local tack shop?
9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen with your horses in mind?
10. Are your end tables really tack trunks with tablecloths thrown over them?
11. Is your mail made up primarily of horse catalogs and horse magazines?
12. Do you get up before dawn to ride? Go to horse shows? Clinics? But do you have trouble getting up for "work?"
13. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do those pockets often contain bits of carrot, hay, or sweet feed?
14. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of horse they have and pity them if they don't have one?
15. Do you remember the name of their horse sooner than you remember their name?
16. Do you find non-horse people boring?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you, and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and good horses and it will never be boring.
--Author Unknown
Until next time,
Charlie Horse
